Hello Everyone!

First of all, I want to thank everyone for their well-wishes and encouragement before my surgery. I really appreciate all of your excessive patience and understanding over the last year and half while I have been waffling between unbearable fatigue and learning to control a new and painful illness.

Now again, for those of you that don't know in early February I presented with stroke symptoms. Facial numbness and slurring that turned out to be a rare illness called Myasthenia Gravis. MG is an autoimmune disorder that only affects fifteen in one hundred thousand people. It is characterized by muscle weakness in certain muscle groupings. At first it was just slack face and slurring but it quickly degraded into a sore neck that randomly fell forward and fingers that would lock up and refuse to move. It all culminated in several increasingly horrifying episodes of full body weakness and collapsing, one of which I tumbled down the stairs and nearly damaged my eye when my glasses broke. When the IVIG didn't take the way we thought it would, we upped the surgery to October.

SO, here is how it went:

On October 7th I woke up at the ungodly hour of four in the morning for a six o' clock surgery slot. I did not sleep well, justifiably. I choked down my medication with a little water as possible, since I was supposed to have no food or water after midnight (save for the medication) and my mother and I drove downtown. We met my boyfriend, Brian ( ~Demihero ) in the hospital parking lot and my grandparents in the waiting room.

The surgery preparation included dressing in one of those terribly unflattering backless paper gowns (with no panties!) and climbing into the bed they would wheel me down to the surgery suite in. I proceeded to prattle aimlessly with my family while waiting for the surgery nurses to arrive and check my file, take my info, et cetera. When I am tired or nervous, I tend to talk more animatedly and about weirder things.

After the prep nurses and medical assistants departed, the scrub nurse (helpers during surgery) came over with the anesthesiologist and his assistant to ask me about my concerns about being put under. My primary concern was blood pressure drops due to my POTS and due to massive emetophobia I told them all if I woke up and vomited I would murder them ALL.

On the plus side the scrub nurse ( Sean ) was ZOMGSUPERHAWT and had me giggling like a schoolgirl. I am a shameless flirt, I will admit it. Brian puts up with it and I totally love that about him, though he spent the majority of my "discussion" with the nurse prodding me in the side and giving me this "you're so totally messed up" smile.

My surgeon came over and gave me one last run through of the procedure. They were going to try to do a VATS procedure by going in through my sides between my ribs and sucking out my thymus like a liposuction. However, if it didn't work out they would have to do the "zipper" procedure and split my chest open along the sternum (like open-heart) and crack me open. I wouldn't know what they did until I woke up.

I gave everyone kisses and hugs and told them I loved them. Even though the chances of death are minimal they are always there and I wanted my family and my boyfriend to know how very much they meant to me and how glad I was that they had decided to come with me.

The surgical team rolled me back to the suite and started the serious prep work. The surgical rooms are very cold to prevent germs and fatigue so they worry about the exposed limbs of the patients. They spread me out like I was Christ on the cross and wrapped each limb in white, heated blankets. I felt like I was a sacrificial lamb being prepared for slaughter and randomly burst into laughter. I didn't even know how to explain it to the team, but it made me feel better that I could still laugh. Finally, the anesthesiologist fixed the mask on my mouth and started filtering in the gas. I am told I shouted to the room (right before passing out) "BAZINGA!"

The entire surgery took five hours. When I woke up my wrists were tied to my bed and I was intubated. If you know anything about me, know this: I have a super sensitive gag reflex and hate having anything in my throat! So waking up with tubes stuffed in it was mortifying! They had forgotten to give me my medication because I was under anesthesia so I had to have a tube put into my stomach and have it administered.

I guess my family and my mother's co-workers had fun asking me questions while I was still "twilighting" and hearing my answers. Apparently, I was extremely hilarious.

I spent another week in the hospital and was then taken home. The initial recovery was faster than expected, but I still have bouts of pain and am extremely tired. The scar tissue makes my breasts hurt something fierce, especially on rainy days. I feel like a one of those little old ladies who can tell when a storm is coming, or Amanda Seyfried's character in Mean Girls.

I have to take this semester off school to continue to recover and get back on track, but every day is a little better. I have my smile more frequently and for longer amounts of time. I can type for hours now instead of minutes. I haven't even slurred once! I am still having trouble with longetivity and my big muscles, especially my neck but the rapidity of my recovery gives me faith and I really want to thank everyone again for your kind words.

Other Stuff:

While I was recovering I proceeded to get myself into several fandoms due to the fact that I was stuck in bed watching television and reading books for weeks. I also managed to draw a bunch and write several fanfictions.

I got into The Big Bang Theory first. When the marathons began on TBS I was in the hospital so I just started watching them to distract myself from the intense pain in my sides. I quickly fell in love with the characters and sitcom format. I love geeks with passion and Sheldon Cooper quickly became my "ideal" man. I will admit while I am not attracted to Jim Parsons himself, I would be all over Sheldon like peanut-butter on jelly (don't get me wrong, I will forever be in love with Matthew Gray Gubler, though). I am a HUGE fan of the Sheldon/Penny coupling. I cannot stand Sheldon with Amy Farrah Fowler. I hate it so much I have begun equating it with SasuSaku!

I also became a "pegasister" recently. While I much prefer the term "brony" to the more feminine one, I am damned proud to watch the show. I think Lauren Faust is an amazing woman and an inspirational feminist. She is awesome! Pinkie Pie is my favorite pony. I like her the best with split-personalities and I really can't get over the fanfiction Cupcakes by Sergeant Sprinkles. If you haven't read it, you really should. There are few grim-dark gore fanfictions that spark my interest as much as this one did. It is like Silence of the Lambs and Hostel… with ponies! Is there anything better? I also want to push the Rarity/Applejack pairing more. There is so not enough love for it.

I started reading some more serious manga. I may love light-hearted and gag manga, but I also really enjoy serious and psychological stories, especially those with a nice heaping mess of blood and guts. I took the time to read Battle Royale as well as Franken Fran and </i>Beserk</i>. I recommend them all!

So…

I hope that everyone has been doing well and I am happy to be back on a more frequent basis. I really love deviantART, even with some of the stupid regulations on artwork and censorship. Anyway, I am actually looking for people to do art trades or requests for me coinciding with my five-year anniversary this May. So, if you are interested, please note me!

*Luffy-kun